If you’re anything like me, you can oft catch yourself racking your brain, pouring over the last couple weeks or even the last couple months wondering “what on earth have I really accomplished?” We know we have days where we’re on a constant stream of overdrive but, in terms of eternity, in terms of the things that truly matter the most to us, what have we truly accomplished.
As a working mother of two, I can totally relate. After being at work all day, it’s dinner and a list of to-do’s. There’s time taken to enjoy some time with the most fabulous children a mother could ask for. There’s a growing business demanding the work and attention needed to make it grow and the ministry that burns from within the bones. And, as I find myself tight walking the fine line that rest between the hustle and the burnout, I can only wonder how long I can keep it up.
Some days, I feel like I’m making waves. Others, I feel like I’ve sprinted a lept through a day full of hoops with no finish line or any other indicator that I’ve accomplished anything. Does this not so much sum up much of the problem with the present American culture – feeling the intense demand to bear so much burden with so little fruit.
As I catch myself caught up in such a cycle, I have to step back and wonder, am I giving priority to the things that matter most in my life? Do I look at the people God has placed around me and the ministry He’s so heavily laid on my heart and determine to make time for it or do I simply resolve to get around to it when I find the time?
If there’s one thing I’m reminded of repeatedly in the process, it’s of my own limitations and the fact that I CANNOT do this on my own. I try. Some days, believe me, I try. It’s funny and sad how we sometimes we so easily get so caught up in all the urgent that we lose sight of the important. The time, once lost, is lost. What do we have to show for it?
I get that we all have a time and a season. We all have a time to work and a time to rest. The question I have to ask myself (knowing my own nature and all) is, am I adjusting my schedule to the season God has me in, or am I crowding out the purpose in giving priority to the things that matter most to me in the moment?
I find one thing I have really struggled with in pressing forward over the years is my tendency toward having so many reasons to plan to act later, rather than doing what I can now. (Again, we all have our seasons.)
I find myself thinking “when I can just get better positioned financially…” or “as soon as things settle down over here, I can give this more of my attention…” or, how about “once I get x, y, and z in position, then I’ll be ready to really make waves over here. Yet, what happens day to day? What, if even small, differences can I make that carry me closer to the vision?
Too often we underestimate the value of the little steps taken today as we’re distracted by the big steps we hope to take tomorrow. My friend, he who proves faithful with little will be entrusted with much.
We keep thinking we need more time, more money and for all these things to line out for us to step into the things God Himself created us to do. We don’t need more of anything but God.
There’s a time and a season. We need to be sensitive to God’s timing. Sometimes we’re anxious to step out into things long on our hearts when God says we’re not ready. Still, I believe when we keep Jesus front and center, we’re going to see the door when it opens.
I don’t really know what season you’re in. I know, for myself, I am in a very busy, full season where I feel like I haven’t the stomach for half of what I have on my plate. I desperately want to cultivate the growth of my businesses while I also want to reach those my heart so longs to help. I can’t do it all. On the one hand, I want to reach out. On the other hand, I want to see the kind of business growth that should allow me to shift into a position of being more available to meet those needs.
Lord, help me, so many days I stand there staring down a hazy path while looking at this tiny piece of a map I get to hold in my hand. Thank God that, at least I know He has the rest of it, even as the piece I hold is just enough to move me one, maybe two steps forward at a time. How I pray He’d be my eyes when I can’t see.
I feel the pull (even the need) in some areas to just set things down, if only for a time. That’s all good and swell; sometimes even absolutely necessary.
What I have to ask myself is, what things am I giving priority to?
How about you? What things are you giving priority to? Do you feel like those things are moving (even if just inching) you closer to God’s plan and purpose for your life or pulling you further from them?
What can you do today to make time for purpose in your life and the things that truly matter most?